Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I was card shopping yesterday and was both happy and disheartened to see that there are new categories of greeting cards.

There were cards for people suffering from depression. Cards for stressed out new mommies. Cards for break-ups (encouragement, not breaking up because that would be as bad as by text message). And cards for cancer patients.

The good news is, there is a card for the difficult moments when you, yourself, are at a loss for words. Someone wrote the perfect thing for you. Some with humor, some with encouragement, some with prayer.

The bad news is, there is a great need for these cards, especially the cancer and depression. There were pink cancer cards for breast cancer. There were cute cards for hair loss due to chemo therapy. There were sweet cards for those struggling through daily darkness.

But the ugly news is that I could not find the right card for the situation...an acquaintance facing life's final battle. How do you say "I'm so sorry you are dying, hope hospice is fun?" There are so many great hardships in life...job loss, illness, depression, heartbreak...but this, well this leaves me speechless. I know that any sentiments I can express are not enough for her or her family.

I know that prayer is the greatest comfort, and one I offer willingly and eagerly. I pray for her, I pray for her husband and her daughter. I pray for her care givers.
But how do I put into words that my heart is breaking for her and that I wish her peace on her final journey?

Where are you now, Hallmark?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Shrinking Vocabulary

More and more, I find myself mentally scrambling for the right word, or re-using the same word several times in a conversation. It's annoying, because I know I have a broader, more expansive vocabulary that I can't seem to access any more. It seems to have atrophied from lack of use.

There are words that get into my head and refuse to leave. I will misuse them, mispronounce them, and generally annoy my friends until one day I realize I haven't used them in a while.

And then there are words I never use. Today I saw a sign with the word destiny. I don't believe that, outside of the title of a book or movie, I've used the word destiny in a sentence in the last 25 years. Or ever. I cannot ever remember saying "It's my destiny!" or "It was destined to happen". I must wonder why. The life-long Baptist in me certainly knows the meaning and all the theological debates surrounding the word.

But am I just not ethereal enough to use words like destiny? Fate? Kismet? Am I weighted in practicalities and immured in the vocabulary of the commonplace?

I read, constantly. Unfortunately, I think my choices in reading are less than intellectual. Should I switch from Charlaine Harris and Jennifer Weiner to Tom Wolfe and Sinclair Lewis? Maybe I could work one in from time to time, but life is too short to read books you don't enjoy.

So lies the end of my vocabulary, wrapped in Southern middle class mediocrity and trashy vampire novels.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Random Thoughts and Some Photos

This is my "To Do" list from Saturday morning, compiled while drinking coffee, eating breakfast, making my bed, brushing my teeth, and applying my make-up.

to do 1

You will note the top includes places to go, things to do, etc and to bottom is a shopping list. I will state that everything was purchased but the pepper mill (which made it on the list twice???) and the buttermilk and all tasks accomplished.

At the video store, I returned Eagle Eye and picked up Valkyrie (the most boring movie ever made). Seems I had seen Eagle Eye before, only it was called the Eschelon Conspiracy and starred Shane West and Edward Burns instead of Shia LeBouef and Billy Bob Thornton.

I woke up during the wee hours Saturday morning and had a sudden thought. At that moment, 3:27 a.m., I wished I smoked. I have never smoked nor had the desire to smoke, but at that moment I did. I just felt it would be far more interesting to be sitting alone in the dark thinking and smoking a cigarette than lying in bed watching re-runs of Rosanne.

wake up

I have to pull Prissy out from under the covers, near my feet, every morning before making my bed. She is such a slug.

And finally, a little bit of sunshine. Enjoy!

tulips 2

Monday, March 1, 2010

How To Tell You're Watching A Really Bad Movie

Bypassed theater release to go straight to DVD? check
Bad acting? check
Bad accents? check
Blood and gore? check
Based on a video game? check

Starring Ben Kingsley? ch....what??????

I wasn't paying attention at the video store yesterday, and wound up with Bloodrayne. Starring Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, and Michelle Rodriguez.

And Ben Kingsley!

Sir Ben Kingsley!

Oscar winner, Sir Ben Kingsley!

Must've really needed a pay check!